I suck at Pokemon Go

I suck at Pokemon Go

I suck at Pokemon Go


Pokemon GO is great. It’s fun, it encourages people to leave their cooped up world and venture to the outside and maybe lose a pound…maybe. You catch Pokemon, level up and battle in gyms for street cred, trainer cred, poke cred, ugh you know what I mean. Like I said the games great, its me that’s not so great with it.

Should I start with how late I was in the game? Yup, talking a month after the app was released, it takes a lot of data ok? I need ma data! So now that I have you judging me let’s kick it up a notch, not only am I a late player I am the laziest. I can safely say that it has almost been a month and I JUST reached level 5. It’s a skill on its own really that has baffled many of my friends, I may have lost some respect points. I am lazy, I am that person who waits for Pokemon to come to her bedroom for her to catch it (God help the team I’m about to join), hence, gyms have given me the ‘Get Outta Here’ whenever I’ve come near one.

Right so let’s talk about what a Pokestop is. Pokestops are places where you go to replenish your pokeballs, eggs and get potions and rare goodies. I know what they are…now. Let’s just say it took me a while to figure how to use a Pokestop. You see whenever I encountered one I’d keep bumping my finger on the screen repeatedly hoping it would annoy the Pokestop into giving some stuff up, until recently when I googled, ‘where to find eggs’, and then it slaps the answer of my idiocy to my face. Swipe not poke, got it…and now I finally have eggs which will probably hatch after a month with my incredible athleticism.

So yeah I proudly wear the badge of worst pokemon player ever. Let’s see if I can keep my badge next month too (probably).

To all my superior players, happy catching.

Liam Wright Growth hacker, animal lover, @dota2 junkie, @manutd & @giants fan | Founder - @BanterMediauk | CoFounder - @team6t9 | CoFounder - @socialgrowthlab |